Battle: Steve
by tmntyyh
Summary: Steve knew it was irrational to hope that the Avengers could put aside their differences with Loki and work together as a team, but he had thought that Clint would be the one with a grudge against the trickster. Why Tony was glaring at the mischief-maker as though he wanted nothing more than to strangle him was beyond the Captain. Steve/Tony, Loki/Steve, Loki/Steve/Tony.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Battle: Steve

Summary: Steve knew it was irrational to hope that the Avengers could put aside their differences with Loki and work together as a team, but he had thought that Clint would be the one with a grudge against the trickster. Why Tony was glaring at the mischief-maker as though he wanted nothing more than to strangle him was beyond the Captain. Steve/Tony, Loki/Steve, Loki/Steve/Tony.

Disclaimer: I own my deranged mind.

Warnings: Oh, let's see... Blood, gore, violence, graphic sex, yaoi, swears, alcohol use, crude gestures and jokes, poor grammar/spelling, etc.

* * *

To say that Tony Stark hated Captain America was...apt.

He truly despised at how accurate Steve's words had been in the helicarrier; the man turned out to be everything that his father said that he was and even managed to call him out on all of his shortcomings. So, when the blonde had called him not even a few days after everyone had parted ways, the playboy was proud to say that he took the highroad and was mature.

He let Steve get out a few words before hanging up in him.

Unfortunately, that was not the end of the Captain's valiant attempts to make things right between them. JARVIS had informed him about letter that he had received in the mail and that had thrown the brunette for a loop at the time. He could not remember when was the last time he had received an actual pen-and-paper letter. Tony had looked over the thin and looped penmanship that spelled out his name. He panicked a little at the realization that there was no return address and had JARVIS check out the letter before he even dared to open it; there was no need to risk getting anthrax over his first letter, after all.

Once he was informed that there were no dangerous contents, just a piece of paper that was folded up, the brunette tore open the plan envelope and unfolded the note, reading over the words that were evenly spaced and parallel along the unlined paper, one name stuck out clearly at the bottom of the page, standing alone: S. Rogers.

That hard-ass of a super soldier had actually taken time out of his SHIELD-filled day to write him a goddamn letter. He had quickly learned that calling the man would get him nowhere so he had taken to the ways of communication back from the forties. Tony could not help but feel a contempt glee at the fact that the golden boy of the country, his father's favorite, was struggling to make things right between them and did not seem to grasp the idea that maybe, just maybe, the genius was petty enough to want nothing to do with him. He contemplated crumpling the letter into a tiny ball and tossing it out with the molding container of Chinese food that was hidden somewhere in the vast recesses of his refrigerator before he frowned. He folded the paper up and set it on the nightstand beside his bed before going back to his lab to check on what progress Bruce had come up with.

A week later, after Tony had forgotten all about the letter, he received another. There was no address again but the handwriting was exactly the same so the brunette tore into the paper with haste, smiling slightly as he read through the letter. It was another try at apologizing to the man for his harsh judgment on the helicarrier.

The letters continued to arrive over the weeks because, apparently, Steve Rogers was a tenacious son of a bitch and was undeterred by the fact that Tony had neither written him back or even attempted to contact him. But, unfortunately for the playboy, his resolve was cracking and he soon found himself looking forward to receiving the letters. Losing the last of his will, Tony had JARVIS patch him through to the soldier's phone just to be told that the blonde man in question did not have a phone. He had frowned and asked the artificial intelligence to track where the blonde had first called him from just to discover that the soldier had used a payphone - honestly, how were those still in existence? - in Iowa. Seriously, Iowa.

Was is so much to ask that Fury be predictable for once in his goddamn life and keep the blonde holed up in SHIELD so he could call the soldier and tell him to quit with the whole soldier-in-war-writing-a-long-lost-love routine?

And, because just thinking about the one-eyed man was enough to summon him, his phone rang with Fury on the line, telling him to sober up - even though he had not gotten drunk for months, thank you very much - and get to Times Square before a new threat leveled it. Tony had wasted no time hanging up of Fury before shouting for JARVIS to ready his suit as he ran to go get Bruce.

* * *

Steve grunted softly as he singlehandedly held up the support beam, shouting for Clint to help with the evacuation of the building before it came crashing down and killed all of the civilians inside of it. He could hear Natasha in his ear, speaking into his earpiece, about how backup had arrived. Thunder rumbled overhead and the Captain could only hope that it meant that Thor had returned from Asgard and was willing to fight alongside them again. Suddenly, a horrible sound of screeching music overcame the frequency in his ear and the blonde recoiled, nearly dropping the support beam and having the ceiling come crashing over his head.

"Hey, starting the party without us? Rude," the joking and amused sound of Tony's voice crackled in his head and Steve could not help but smile softly. He could hear the Hulk roaring outside of the lobby and knew that Bruce had joined the party, to use Iron Man's vernacular.

"MY FRIENDS!" a loud voice boomed out, making Steve laugh softly. Even after all of those months, Thor still had difficulties lowering his voice. "I HAVE RETURNED WITH GOOD NEWS!"

"Can it wait until after we've emptied out the buildings and stopped- What are these things again, 'Tasha?" Clint asked as he escorted a little blonde girl with pigtails out of the lobby as she sobbed, an even small child draped over his shoulders.

"There's a weak spot on the back of their necks. Aim there," the Russian's clipped voice replied. "It doesn't matter what they're called, Hawk. Now, is everyone out of the building?"

"Yeah, you're free to run off, Cap," the archer cheerfully called over his shoulder as he led the small children out of the lobby and away from the ongoing battle in the streets. Sucking in a deep breath, the blonde superhero counted back slowly from ten, wanting to give Clint the chance to at least get the children a safe distance before he released the beam and ran just in case the building decided to collapse due to a compromised structural integrity.

_Ten Mississippi..._

Steve could hear Clint talking amicably with the still sobbing girl that he was walking with over the frequency, his voice soft as he tried to calm her down with bribes of ice cream. It only seemed to make her cry harder.

_Nine Mississippi..._

An old vernacular sounded out as Thor appeared to be speaking to his teammates loudly, his voice washed out throughout all of the screaming, shrieking, and rumbling of thunder. Steve could remember fighting with the blonde against the Chitauri and that brought a soft smile to his face. If there was one thing that the Asgardian was, it was fierce. Both in how loyal his heart was and how determined he fought.

_Eight Mississippi..._

A soft grunt and some creative cursing from Natasha sounded out over the frequency followed quickly by a dirty comment from Tony about what else she could do with those powerful thighs of hers. Steve had the good morals to blush at the lurid words while the assassin offered to show him just what she could to with that part of her anatomy. The soldier found it hard to miss the dry and promising tone of her voice that spoke of pain in all of the wrong places should she try out that move on him.

_Seven Mississippi..._

The ground vibrated as the battle continued without him for the time being, pulverized plaster raining down over his head and shoulders like fine dandruff.

_Six Mississippi..._

The soft voice of the girl could be heard over his earpiece as she told Clint that their parents were at a movie while they were left in the hotel. That just broke Steve's heart to hear.

_Five Mississippi..._

A loud roar rippled out right before something came crashing through the lobby's wall and nearly slamming into him. He could hear the others yelling at Hulk to back away from the building, to make sure not to throw anyone else through it. A growl sounded out but no one else came barreling into the lobby so that was a plus.

_Four Mississippi..._

Tony was calling out locations for the Other Guy to get to and laughing when a particularly loud crash sounded out and resonated through the block, seeming to be at ease in the chaos.

_Three Mississippi..._

Natasha was heard grunting before letting out a curse, Clint laughing as he replied in the same language. It should not have been such a shock that the spies could speak to each other in more than one language but it always through the soldier for a loop at how well they were able to talk to each other in more than one language or with no words at all. He wished that he would be able to be close enough to someone like that but Steve was almost certain that he had let that chance slip by him.

_Two Mississippi..._

Steve breathed in and out slowly, calming his nerves for what was to come. Once he released the support beam the weight was certain to buckle and he would have to just as much energy into escaping just to make sure that he would not be buried alive in the rubble that would certainly be left in place of the old building.

_One Mississippi..._

The super soldier released his grip on the thick support beam, hearing the weight shift above his head, groaning mercilessly in a threat as metal and concrete shifted ominously. The blonde breathed heavily as he took off running as fast as he could, hearing the building crashing down from where he was standing, dust kicking up as the damage radiated out and the entire building began to crash to the lobby's floor, kicking up dirt and dust from both the ventilation system and crusted plaster. He had barely manage to set foot outside of the entrance of the hotel when he could hear Tony screaming into his earpiece about something above him. Steve rose his shield in that instance, the soldier's muscles tensing in anticipation of the heavy weight hitting his decorated shield. It never came.

Instead, a solid weight rammed into his ribs from the side, the super soldier barely making out the colors of verdant and obsidian before he was rolling on the ground, a warmth over his groin as a large collision sounded out to his left, drawing in the blonde's attention. Bright blue eyes widened at the sight of the collapsed building, a particularly large portion of the ceiling crumbled into smaller pieces where he was previously standing. Steve swallowed dryly, wondering if his shield would have been enough to protect him or if his bones would have been crushed just by trying to hold up his weapon against the impressive amount of bricks, metal, and wood.

A pleased sigh came from above him and the soldier turned his head to look at the person that had tackled him to safety, eyes widening even more at the bright green eyes peered down at him. Dark hair slipped over a leather-clad shoulder while a playful and lecherous smirk pulled at thin and pale lips, the brunette sitting on his groin leaning closer so their noses almost touched. "Hello, Captain," Loki purred from his position over the wide-eyed super soldier.

* * *

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	2. Chapter 2

Title: Battle: Steve

Summary: Steve knew it was irrational to hope that the Avengers could put aside their differences with Loki and work together as a team, but he had thought that Clint would be the one with a grudge against the trickster. Why Tony was glaring at the mischief-maker as though he wanted nothing more than to strangle him was beyond the Captain. Steve/Tony, Loki/Steve, Loki/Steve/Tony.

Disclaimer: I own my deranged mind.

Warnings: Oh, let's see... Blood, gore, violence, graphic sex, yaoi, swears, alcohol use, crude gestures and jokes, poor grammar/spelling, etc.

* * *

Steve would like to say that he reacted with the maturity and grace of a man that grew up through the Depression and had the honor of fighting in the Second World War. Unfortunately, the blonde could not say that without outright lying. The second he heard the brunette's dulcet tones in his ear and his brain finally made the connection between his voice and appearance, the super soldier shoved the trickster off of his lap before quickly sitting up, jerking at a suddenly flash of green in the distance.

"Woah," Clint breathed into the frequency. "They're all...melting..."

"You are very welcome, Man out of Time, for my assistance in defeating your enemies is not something that is lightly given," Loki huffed as he rose to his feet before looking at the blonde through his eyelashes and smiling sweetly at him. "I take it my dear _brother_ has not told you of my-of Odin's plan?" A lilting chuckle came from the demigod as he reached down and helped the muscled super soldier to his feet.

"Uh, thanks," Steve said, ever mindful of his manners even thought he was speaking to man, definitely not a god, that had tried to kill them all just a matter of months ago. "And no, we were a bit busy..."

"You are quite welcome, Captain," the mischievous glint in his jade eyes was back as he stepped into the blonde's personal space once more, looking the star-spangled superhero up and down appreciatively.

"Can anyone tell me what is going on?" Tony snapped into everyone's earpieces, drawing Steve's attention away from the pleased look that Thor's younger brother was giving him.

"I think Loki just saved Times Square," Steve answered as he nodded his thanks to the demigod, not missing the way that the lankier of the two Asgardian brothers seemed to bask in the silent appreciation.

"I can explain!" Thor bellowed before touching down next to the super soldier and clapping both Loki and his comrade heavily on their shoulders, making both stumble but where Steve smiled softly, the trickster sneered. "Loki has been tried in Asgard-"

"And they still let him live, apparently," Clint grumbled, sounding displeased and the super soldier could not fault him for his ill feelings.

"-And father has punished Loki by declaring that he must find a way to help the fine people of this realm lest All-Father ground him without his powers and make him learn humility the way I have." The God of Thunder flashed a bright and happy smile at his sulking brother, not seeming the least bit deterred by the icy demeanor his adopted brother took on. "Loki has graciously decided to work with the Avengers to right his wrongs rather than work in a kitchen of delicious soups!"

"You mean a Soup Kitchen, Fabio," Tony called out as the Iron Man armor landed right in front of them, his face plate lifting up before he crossed his arms in clear disapproval. "So Santa's special little helper is going to be working with us?"

A liquid smirk spread out across Loki's face as he slid an arm across the broad expanse of Steve's shoulders, his fingers ticking across the blue fabric, "I dare say, Anthony, are you feeling jealous that I'll show you up? Feeling..._inadequate_?" The super soldier ignored the brunette genius's sputtering and retort as he swatted the demigod's hand off of his shoulder, raising an eyebrow at the utter glee on the trickster's face.

"Hey, the last time we got together, _you_ were the one having performance issues!" Tony snapped, nearly making Steve choke on the air he breathed. He could feel his face burning as he looked between the two brunettes. Had they honestly...? Sure, he knew that homosexual relationships were far more open in the future/present then when he was from, but still! Fraternizing with an enemy during a fight was ill advised back then and he doubted that it was any different now. Loki was glaring openly at Tony as though he wanted nothing more than to set him alight and watch him burn. And, knowing the demigod as little as he did, it had a high probability of coming to fruition.

"So..." Clint began as he arrived at the gathering with Natasha and Bruce, all three of them looking either blank or tired. "Daddy grounded you for a while and is threatening to throw away your toys if you don't straighten up?" There was a dark grin on the archer's face that was aimed directly at the demigod.

"Verily so, Eyes of the Hawk!" Thor called out optimistically as he smiled brightly. "Son of Coul has said that SHIELD will allow it to keep an eye on Loki. My brother will be on his best behavior and will learn about you mortals and your wondrous desserts!"

"Yes," Loki agreed even as he sneered. "Your Director was quite...enthusiastic about this arrangement." Clint nodded as Natasha pointedly ignored the adopted Asgardian, instead focusing on her nails as they all spoke. The soldier thought that they were taking it quite well considering what he had done to them personally. While Steve was still unsure of their relationship to one another, he knew that they were both distraught at Phil Coulson's fall by Loki's hand. He also knew that there was a large amount of trust between them and he had trusted the Black Widow to make a judgment call on whether or not the archer was able to fight to protect New York. If she was willing to leave him to his own devices around the so-called God of Mischief, he was willing to do the same...barring any sort of fisticuffs, of course. He had fought against the frail-looking demigod and had no doubt that he could break his teammate in half with ease. "I do believe we will have some fun times, Captain," the aforementioned trickster continued and the Captain was left scrambling as he tried to figure out what he was being told.

"Huh?" Steve asked as he blinked, a frown pulling at his lips as the demigod smiled sweetly at him and batted his eyes playfully.

"Why else would Fury have his golden boy playing chaperone and sharing a room with me?" the demigod continued.

"Woah! Back up, Rudolph!" Tony called out as he flailed his arms dramatically. "Evil Santa did what now? You're- You're _bunking_ with Captain Hard-Ass?"

"Surely you did not think that he would have Thor watching over me?" Loki smirked knowingly as he peered at Tony through his lashes, the look dark as he assessed the brunette carefully as though he had never met him before.

"I am afraid Miss Jane does not trust Loki well enough to let him stay around her or Miss Darcy," Thor added, looking a bit sad even as his voice was still strong.

"Can't really blame her," Bruce added, waving off the glare that Loki was giving him for his comment.

"But, still," Clint cut in, gesturing with as he hands in swirling motions. "Phil...Agent_ Phil Coulson_ actually approves of putting-"

"Crazy Eyes," Tony interjected helpfully, glaring at lanky man that glared right back with a vicious smirk on his face. Steve frowned as he crossed his arms in front of his chest, making sure that they were not going to start a fight after Loki had so graciously gone out of his way to save his hide from being squashed like a warm marshmallow between a chocolate bar and graham cracker. Jeez, he really needed to eat soon before his metabolism went haywire.

"-In the same room as Cap for extended periods of time?" the archer finished and everyone of the Avengers turned to look at Loki, who nodded while Thor smiled brightly. "Well, then...good luck, Cap." And just like that, it was over; the Avengers seemed to trust Phil's assessment of who would be best in keeping Loki under wraps and if Clint, the one person on their team who had the right to truly object to having the Asgardian even near the team, was fine with it, that was the end of it. Steve nodded, knowing that the Agent, who had professed to being fond of him, had his safety in mind and would not do anything to send him into harm's way if he thought that he could not end up on top by the end of things. He was willing to put his faith in Phil's faith in him and help Loki as best as he could...even if he did not really understand this new America all that well.

"Wait! Hold up one damn minute!" Tony called out, pointing a finger at Loki. "We're seriously letting _him_ have free reign around a guy that spent the last seventy years imitating an ice cube? How is that wise?!"

"Amazing," the trickster mused breathlessly as he grinned almost maniacally. "A team that does not support its leader..."

"Hey, if you think you could do better, Stark, go right ahead," Steve cut back, not knowing why he was feeling so defensive. It was not like Tony did not call him out on something miniscule every time that they got together as a team. Everything from the way he spoke to what he had missed out was fair game, it seemed. Bright blue eyes met dark brown as the egocentric playboy almost looked like he was pouting.

"Me, in the same room as Looney Tunes over there? Yeah, pass. I just think that he might feel more at home in a padded cell rather than touring the country with America's favorite grandfather!"

"My brother will not be in any padded room!" Thor bellowed as he held up his hammer threateningly at the brunette.

"Woah, now!" Steve snapped, holding up his hands and effectively stopped Thor from attempting to pummel Tony once more. After all, they were still in Times Square, not a secluded wood where they could hash out their problems without worrying about any needless casualties. "No fighting against each other in public! Now, like it or not, Stark, Loki is going to be under SHIELD's supervision until further notice. And I'm not even the official leader of the Avengers-" There were multiple snorts and expressive eye-rolls, but the super soldier ignored them and pressed on. "-So if you think you can do a better job you're more than welcome to try. Same goes for all of you."

All at once, the rest of the Avengers began to talk at once, leaving the blonde to blink as he tried to sort out the overlapping conversations. A piercing whistle sounded out and the Captain looked over at the God of Mischief, who smirked smugly at Tony, "I do believe it is settled; your Captain is your leader." Vibrant green eyes turned to him and Steve could not help but feel appreciative, scrutinized, and disappointed all at the same time. "Tell me, Man out of Time..." Soft and thin fingers ran over the blue material that stretched over his bicep, making the blonde flush a light shade of pink. "To where are we going to feast after such a battle?"

"Aye!" Thor boomed happily as he lifted Mjolnir into the air, his face breaking out into a wide grin. "We must celebrate Loki's acceptance into the Avengers and the Captain of the Stars and Stripes' continued rule!"

"Hear, hear!" Clint mocked as he raised his bow just to have Bruce snort in amusement and Natasha roll her eyes.

"Come on," Tony grumbled, grudgingly. "Let's go get some shawarma."

The trip to the little diner was uneventful, especially with half of the Avengers tired and achy; Thor was happily gesturing at objects as he spoke to Loki about the wonders of Midgard while his adopted brother nodded unenthusiastically, not paying any particular attention to what Thor was saying. Clint and Natasha spoke amongst each other in a language that Steve was certain he would never understand, the foreign words hushed and rapid. Tony and Bruce spoke, one voice far softer than the harsh and mocking tones of the other. Steve kept to himself as he walked, feeling a bit like an outsider after the demigod of deception had called them all out on not supporting him. It was weird for their former enemy to side with him and actually solidify his status in the team. The Captain was not sure what the trickster's end goal was but he was certain that he was going to be vigilant when the dark-haired demigod was around.

Food was ordered and the team found themselves seated around a table; Loki was right by his side with Thor next to his brother, Bruce sat next to Thor, Tony across from Steve, Clint next to the genius, and Natasha by his left. They began to eat and the super soldier had easily tucked away five of the not-quite sandwiches before looking at his team once more.

Thor was loudly retelling stories from their childhood as Loki chimed in with what were either corrections or lies, Steve could not really tell. Bruce was scribbling lazily across a greasy napkin as he nodded along with what the demigods were saying. Natasha and Clint were talking amongst themselves and, from what the soldier could glimpse from the gesture and expressions, he was rather glad that he did not understand their language. Tony, however, was wiping his mouth with a napkin and staring emotionlessly at him while he ate. It was disconcerting to know the least. He was sure that Fury had given them all his file and the genius had seen him eat before so there was no way that he did not know about his appetite.

Things were still awkward between them, that was for sure. He did not know if Tony had read his letters or not, but he had been certain to mail one every week while he was traveling. Steve had learned that an apology over the phone was not received well and wondered whether or not he should deliver it in person now that he was in close quarters to the eccentric man for a limited period of time.

"So, Captain," Loki drawled, getting the blonde's attention away from Iron Man and focused on himself. "Where shall we be residing once this pathetic attempt at a feast is concluded?"

"Oh, well I have a place over in Brooklyn. It's not big or anything, but it should fit us both comfortably," the soldier replied, feeling an odd sense of satisfaction at the way that the brunette nodded in acceptance. For someone that was being forced to do this against their will, he was oddly complacent for the time being.

"You moved, Spangles? When the hell did that happen?" Tony cut in, sounding off-put at the idea of him moving out of SHIELD.

"Two days ago," the rest of the Avengers chimed in at the same time, barring Thor and Loki, of course.

"What, and I wasn't invited to the party?" the playboy meant it as a joke, Steve could tell that much, but the tone was much more bitter and left a sour feeling with the blonde. He actually sounded like he was wounded at the idea that everyone else had helped him move and he was no invited. Steve thought back and tried to remember if he had actually told Tony that he had moved recently and could not think of anything. In fact, he had not told any of the Avengers that he had moved. So while he could understand that the agents knew, he was not sure exactly how Bruce had found out.

"No party, Stark," Natasha said as she waved a hand dismissively with the flick of her thin wrist. "SHIELD has his information on a need-to-know basis and-"

"And I didn't make the cut?" Tony sulked, actually sulked; crossing his arms and pouting slightly as he slouched in his seat.

"It's not like I had much to move, really," Steve countered, inwardly cringing at the glare that was thrown his way.

"What, and you couldn't even call and say; hey, I'm moving!?"

"Hey now, the last time I called, you hung up on me, Stark!" All thoughts of apologizing for his comments were suddenly forgotten, not dismissed, but forgotten.

"You hung up on a call from your leader?" Loki snapped as he rose from his seat, sneering darkly at the genius. "What if he was wounded? Dying somewhere and needed help? You would have abandoned him? Left his carcass to be-"

"Loki!" Thor bellowed as he pulled the thin brunette back onto his seat, leaving him to be stared at openly by the rest of the Avengers. "I apologize, my friends. I do not know what has cause such an outburst from my brother."

"You are not my brother nor my keeper, Thor," the demigod hissed as he tugged his arm out of his adopted brother's grasp, sneering at the wounded look he received in return before turning his piercing gaze upon the blonde by his side. "I apologize, Captain. My harsh words were not meant to upset you."

"Oh, uh, well I'm not the one that should be apologized to," Steve replied before flicking his eyes at Thor and Tony, knowing that he still owed the man an apology himself.

"Fuck that," Loki hissed softly.

"Language!" Steve admonished, eyes wide that he had said such a word while in the presence of a lady. And, sure, he had heard many women cursing nowadays, but that did not mean that he had to tolerate such blatant disrespect among his teammates.

"You can go fuck yourself, too, Tick Magnet!" Tony snapped back, the air around the cluttered table suddenly much more volatile.

"Hey!" Steve snapped, calling their attentions. "There's a lady present! Both of you, apologize. Now."

"Oh, this is fantastic," Natasha smirked as she folded her arms in front of her chest and leaned back in her chair. "Go on, boys. I'm waiting."

"...I'll have you know that I'm only apologizing this for your Captain," Loki hissed, his eyes darting from Steve's stern face to Natasha amused one, not missing the mirth in Clint's face at the same time.

"That's not an apology," the female agent said sweetly as she looked down at her nails as though she was not interested in him any longer.

"Fine!" the demigod spat. "I'm... I apologize to you, Agent Romanoff."

"Apology accepted," the woman said before all eyes turned to look at Tony.

"Oh goddammit," he groaned, not missing the pleasant and awaiting smirk on Loki's face, his eyes narrowing as he watched the demigod slowly reach his hand across the table towards the unsuspecting super soldier.

* * *

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**hannahrerlouise**: There shall!

**nicolethecrazyone**: I will work on it.

**Creatividadqueamo**: I have no idea where I'm going with it, to be honest. Making shit up as I go along is what I do!

**Bonamana18**: Will do!

**Rathokhan**: Uhh...I have no (or very little) idea?

**Ducky**: Here's more for you, sweetheart.

**Obsession and Insanity**: Well, here it is...

**shizukoyasu**: I'm going to try for Fridays.

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**carbonitedoubleohneg**: Heh, I make no promises! ...And if I do, I usually break them.

**Drarry Radton**: Heh, no pressure? Wait no more...and then a week more.

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**Sweetheart5793**: Here you go; I try to update on Fridays.

**XxHannyaUchihaxX**: Oh, sweetheart, I'm always such a tease. Even without trying.

**irite**: Uh...heh, which part?

**You Light The Sky**: Aw, no mind-reading here. I like both pairings as well so I figured; why not? Heh, well there will probably be some, most obvious ones. I don't plan things out all that well. Thank you!

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	3. Chapter 3

Title: Battle: Steve

Summary: Steve knew it was irrational to hope that the Avengers could put aside their differences with Loki and work together as a team, but he had thought that Clint would be the one with a grudge against the trickster. Why Tony was glaring at the mischief-maker as though he wanted nothing more than to strangle him was beyond the Captain. Steve/Tony, Loki/Steve, Loki/Steve/Tony.

Disclaimer: I own my deranged mind.

Warnings: Oh, let's see... Blood, gore, violence, graphic sex, yaoi, swears, alcohol use, crude gestures and jokes, poor grammar/spelling, etc.

* * *

"You do realize," Tony began as everyone continued to watch him, Steve's eyes baring down at him and making the brunette want nothing more than to crawl into a hole in the ground - hell, even the cave that he crawled out of - and die a painful death. "That Natalie Rushman, Natasha Romanoff, Black Widow, whatever name she's using for the time being, can kill anyone one of us with our own balls in ten different ways?"

"Fifty-seven," Clint chimed in with a cheerful grin, "but, really, who's counting?"

"And she's the most empowered woman I've met besides Pepper!" Tony concluded, glaring when the Russian's sharp gaze turned to him impassively. "She doesn't need or even want my apology! She swears more than any of us men and in way more creative ways and languages!"

"Be that as it may," Natasha said as she looked the genius up and down, "our fearless and timeless leader wants you to apologize to me and Loki has already done so. Now, it's your turn. You don't want to upset Captain America, right?"

Tony groaned before rubbing at his face with his hands. This was utterly ridiculous but he could tell by the stern look in the blonde's eyes that he meant every word that he said. "Tony," Steve began, unfolding his arms from their place in front of his chest. "May I have a word with you outside?"

"What?" Legitimately, the playboy began to panic. It was one thing to upset the blonde, it was quite another to piss him off to the point that he was going to be having a one-on-one talk with the star-spangled man with a plan; was a whole different ballgame. The blonde super soldier was known for being predictable and unpredictable all at the same time. He was predictably unpredictable and unpredictably predictable. That was something that could frustrate him all day long. Just when he would think that he had the guy figured out, he would say something irrational - like, "I'm sorry for what I said when I first met you" - and leave the engineer struggling to make his world make even a little sense. The guy was a fucking train wreck when it came to talking to women, yet he was defending the toughest one out of all of the menstruation nation's population. He was a man who stood by his convictions, but was willing to admit that he was wrong and judged him too rashly. He was a man who fought against the evils in the world, but was willing to take in a murdering psychopath with daddy issues that far beat out his own just to help Crazy Eyes become a better man. He was a leader who was willing to let anyone who thought that they could do better replace him if they so much as said the word.

A man who only asked for a chance to defend, and possibly die for, his country and ended up in a shit-storm he would probably never understand.

"No, no, no!" Tony called out, waving his hands before looking at Natasha pleadingly. "I'm sorry for saying a swear you say at least ten times before you even get a cup of coffee in the morning! We good? I'd like to think that we're good. Sit back down, Spangles, we're all good here. All friends. No need for talks in the back alley." Just by the look that overcame the blonde's face, the sheer and utter distraught hopelessness that took control of his features, he knew that he had managed to say something wrong. Something that pushed the wrong buttons for the guy and while he could not understand what it was that he said to have gotten such a reaction, the last of the Stark bloodline was more than willing to apologize publicly, in front of the entire population if that was what it took, just to wipe that look off of Steve's face.

"Apology accepted," Natasha said, effectively ending the whole ordeal. Tony was going to make sure that he did not curse too harshly in front of the fairer, and deadlier, of the sexes until the blonde had gotten it though his old-fashioned head that the woman was perfectly fine around cursing. There was no way in hell that he was going to risk having another one of these "sit around in a circle and share our feelings about cussing in front of dames" powwow. Once was far more than he needed to deal with in his lifetime.

"I think that it is time that we retire for the evening," Loki said as he placed his thin and pale hand on the super soldier's shoulder, his claw-like hand gently squeezing at the hard muscle underneath. Tony did not miss the way that the sharp green eyes turned on him for the briefest of seconds before focusing back on the blonde soldier. And, honestly, it made his stomach churn and he wanted nothing more than to aim his repulsors at the lanky prick and blast him out of the shawarma shop. But Thor would not like that and while he could handle the electricity, a hammer to the face was a real bitch.

A sharp nod came from Steve before the super soldier rose from his seat, pulling some crisp bills out of seemingly nowhere; he was definitely going to ask the Supernanny if he added any secret pockets that he did not yet know of because, seriously, his hand did not even go near his belt and he sure as fuck did not hear any of the pockets opening with a soft click or the telltale sound of Velcro being unhooked. The blonde set the bills cleanly down on the table, enough to cover half of the bill and, seriously, he was going to have a word with the spangled superhero about inflation rates.

He almost called out Thor's adopted brother for not doing what the Captain wanted as well, he was pretty sure that he saw the super soldier looking over at Thor when he barked at them both to apologize and he sure as hell did not do anything to upset the overgrown Asgardian puppy of a prince. When he opened his mouth to do it, though, Loki had reached down with his other hand and patted the blonde warrior's shoulder inconspicuously, making Thor look up at him with a beaming smile that could possibly blind weaker men. The trickster's lips quirked up slightly as Captain America bid everyone a nice evening, and, come on, there was a huge difference between telling everyone that you would see them later and actually hoping that their evenings were pleasant. It was simply mindboggling the way the guy practically breathed world peace and innocent puppies wanting nothing more than to be loved. Frankly, he did not feel comfortable leaving world's only super soldier in close contact with the antler-ish-horn-wearing whack-job that was more commonly known as the God of _Mischief_.

But Tony resolved to hold onto his opinions to himself...mostly because Thor was around. He was definitely going to bitch to Bruce about it once they returned to the Tower.

* * *

Loki winced slightly at the bright harshness that glared down at him in the form of a dying star. It was ironic to him that death was the center of their realm and that they refused to see it. Turning his attention back to the blonde that was standing in front of him and looking at the dejected street as if its crumbling asphalt was his greatest love and was dying on front of him. "Do lead on, Captain," the demigod said as he watched the blonde super soldier carefully.

"Oh, sure," Steve nodded, before smiling tersely. "Are you any good with riding a motorcycle?"

"I would rather teleport," the dark-haired offered as his green eyes flicked across the street. He could see many damaged car and was used to some of the more obvious forms of transportation that cluttered the city. He had heard tales of the dirty trains that were located both above and below the ground and he was not fond of experiencing either one of them firsthand. Public cars were less dirty but still left much to be desired. Personal cars came in many shapes and forms but none seemed less stable than the aforementioned type that the soldier seemed to prefer.

"Are...are you even supposed to do that kind of...uh, magic?" The way that Steve seemed to had difficulty pronouncing the word made it appear that he was uncomfortable around sorcery and was probably still unbelieving about his powers even though he had witnessed it firsthand and seen the kind of destruction that the brunette could unleash upon the city.

"Close your eyes and think of where your dwelling resides," the God of Mischief said, plainly ignoring the comment about feeling like Dorothy. He had no idea who this maiden was and had no desire to meet her if the wry and pained grin was anything to go by. But, the soldier did as he was told and Loki pressed his hand to the taller man's forehead before the world around him distorted and faded to black. In a sudden rush, all of the color bled back into their surroundings and the demigod found himself standing in a room that was not dirty, but faded. The walls were bare of any pictures and the furniture looked as though it had been in the house since it was built. Wallpaper peeled and yellowed with time, revealing the dingy plaster beneath and the Asgardian had the feeling that the simplest of spells could send the whole vicinity tumbling down on top of them.

"Uh, wow," Steve breathed as blue eyes looked around his apartment.

"Have you finished unpacking?" Loki asked; he was not in the least bit interested in the soldier's belongings but it seemed like a good way to break the stilted air around them.

"Oh, yeah, a while ago actually." The silence was stifling and Loki was tempted to don his helmet once more and bash his head into the wall just for something interesting to happen. ...Then again, he could always send a clone over to Stark's ever so humble abode and torment him until he lost his thin grasp on his moral compass and decided that he would rather enslave mankind rather than avenge it. But that would probably be looked down upon by Odin and he was quite fond of his magic. "...Are you hungry?" A dark eyebrow rose as the demigod looked up at the soldier. He had heard tales about the soldier's increased metabolism and knew that it could rival even Thor's if the gossip held true.

"Did you not _just_ eat, Man out of Time?" the demigod teased, grinning at the way that the mortal's face flushed a delicate shade of pink.

"Well, yeah, but I'm always hungry," the blonde sounded a bit embarrassed by this and that was completely unacceptable. He was in his own home and should be allowed to eat as much as he pleased without worrying. Thor often ate as much as he wanted back on Asgard and he made sure that he was so full he would have to sleep for quite a while. It seemed unfair that one of such stature in current times as well as the older stories could not freely do so when out of the public ire.

"You starve yourself?" Loki had not meant for his tone to be as harsh as it was, judging by the Captain's flinch.

"What? No, no. I just... Oh, jeez. Do you...I don't mean to be rude or unassuming, but how much do you know about our history?"

The soldier sounded quite shy and embarrassed about having to ask a God such as himself about something so trivial but the trickster could not help but be amused by it. It was not every day that someone of the soldier's size had to question his own importance. "I know about your frail body before becoming a _hero_."

"What? No, not- That's not what I meant!" the mortal sounded even more embarrassed and his ears turned a bright pink as well. Loki found it to be quite amusing and wondered if that was why his uniform covered a good portion of his face. It the Captain's enemies could see how easy it was to rile him up, they would do their best to use it to their advantage in the middle of a battle and strike when the soldier was off guard. It was not something that the brunette was thinking about lightly and it caused his stomach to churn about the idea of the genuinely kind blonde lying on the cold and unfeeling asphalt, his life bleeding out of his cooling body. "I meant that I grew up in the Depression. We, well, _I _grew up and was used to not eating much it at all." Loki nodded, understanding more about the time than the blonde knew that he did. Unbeknownst to the soldier, he had often frequented Midgard in his time and had seen the horrors of the simple planet. Contrary to what Thor would believe, he did not choose this realm to rule because of his adopted brother, because Odin's golden son had grown weak for the mortals that he had met here. He had chosen this simple world because he, himself, the God of Mischief, had fallen for the people that he had encountered during his visits. If he managed to get pregnant while under the guise of a woman every few centuries while on this pitiful existence of a realm, then so be it. "And I saw that you didn't eat much when around the others..." This snapped the demigod out of his thoughts and he stared at the simple human that held a large part in disrupting his rule of these primitive people. "Thor easily ate seven times what you did."

"Thor is a brute," Loki cut in, unable to disagree with the fact that the son of Odin could stuff his face with more food than most Asgardians needed to eat.

"He's your family," Steve said as he frowned. It brought up odd feelings in the demigod's stomach and he knew that he wanted nothing more than to wipe that displeased look off of the mortal's face.

"Have you not heard?" There was forced glee and mischief in his voice, his eyes imploringly wide with an innocence that he no longer held; the god thought it best to put up a front if it would help him to persuade the blonde to change the topic at hand. "I am adopted."

"So?" Well now, that was different. Surely the mortal understood that he was not truly Thor's brother and that he could openly mock the warrior as much as he pleased. "Family isn't just by blood, you know. You grew up together, right?" Loki nodded, unsure of why the mortal was suddenly so brave and willing to talk to him. "And I'm sure that you trusted him as much as he trusts you. It doesn't matter if you have different parents, you're still brothers and I'm sure Thor would like nothing more than for you to stop acting like a jerk."

"A jerk?" Loki repeated, a slow smirk uncurling upon his face.

"Yeah. You were acting like a jerk."

The god was unsure about whether or not the human actually had no self-worth, no preservation skills, or if he really was stupid enough to challenge a god such as himself for the sheer sake of defending what was deemed right in his world. It was truly frustrating. He could not figure out where he stood with the mortal but he knew that the one they referred to as Stark; the one whose Tower he had taken over; had taken a shine to the blonde soldier. It was painfully obvious and he was not above exploiting that for his own amusement. Granted, saving the human was not a part of that. He could reason that he was doing it purely out of fear of letting his powers. Odin would not be proud of him if he had let one of the greatest warriors of Midgard get crushed by a building. If that was a lie, he was not going to admit it even to himself.

"Then I shall have to fix that," the brunette muttered softly, making the blonde smile triumphantly. He could feel a fluttering in the pit of his stomach and gestured to the soldier's attire. "Back to your earlier question, I could do with some dessert. After you have changed, of course."

Steve nodded, "Make yourself comfortable." He walked away and Loki looked around the sparsely decorated room. He could see the kitchen plainly for his position in the living room and Steve had hurried into the room on his left, marking that room as his bedroom. There was a door to his right and that could be anything from a bathroom to a guest bedroom. He was not yet willing to intrude upon his host's generosity, but he was certain that the soldier would be giving him a tour of his living quarters soon enough. Far sooner than the demigod could have imagined, the blonde returned wearing a white shirt that fit snugly against his skin and a pair of pants that almost forced him to cringe. They looked the least bit comfortable and while just about anything could go with white, the pair of pants seemed to be doing everything in their power not to match. "Phil brought me grocery shopping yesterday. He picked out a few boxes of cake and said that if I follow the directions, it should be just fine."

"Then we shall have cake," Loki agreed before waving his hand towards the kitchen.

"...Did you bring any spare clothes?" Again, the soldier's face had taken on the color of vibrant pink, making the trickster grin. "I mean, mine won't exactly fit you, but they'll do if I have to take you shopping."

"I am fine," he replied, his clothing shimmering and simplifying almost instantaneously. The design was similar to Steve's but much darker in color, the shades matching his usual palette for garments. "Now, how does one go about making a cake from a box?"

"...I'm not all that sure," Steve said, scratching idly at the top of his head before walking in the kitchen, the Asgardian close on his heels as he rummaged through the kitchen, grabbing everything that he deemed useful. Honestly, it all looked worthless to Loki; flour, sugar, eggs, oil bars of chocolate, long, black beans, a bright orange box, a small can of white powder, multiple spoons as bound together... The blonde rummaged through his cabinets before he triumphantly help out a red box to Loki, letting the other man examine it. "Cake in a box."

"It hardly sounds appetizing."

"Looks can be deceiving."

That was all that was said as the blonde put back some of the ingredients as he read the box until he was only let with eggs and oil. It seemed like more would be needed to actually make a cake that was fit for sustenance but he was willing to trust that the brunette was not going to attempt to kill him with some pastry.

"It's chocolate," Steve said as he looked over the box, smiling brightly as his large hands held the red box out towards him. He seemed oddly at ease with housing a god against his will, a man that probably would, and definitely could, kill him without difficulty in his sleep. Loki opened his mouth to reply because, really, chocolate cake from a box? That do not sound in the least bit tempting. There was a loud knocking from the door, startling them both and silencing the mischief-maker before he could voice his opinions about the box of confectionary.

"I will get it," Loki called out with a wave of his hand as he walked out of the kitchen. It was not his home and he should not care who was at the door but he simply had to get away from the startlingly blue eyes that stared at him as though he could be the salvation that the world needed if only he could straighten his act together. Opening the door quickly, he found himself staring at his adopted brother, the muscular Asgardian looking eager to see him and pleased that he had opened the door.

"Brother!" Thor called out, wrapping his brother into a tight hug that the thinner man was sure he could have done without, "I swear I shall do my best to convince Miss Jane to allow you to move into closer quarters with us!" The blonde smiled brightly and the trickster could barely keep himself from rolling his eyes.

"I am quite fine residing with the Captain of this realm," Loki dismissed as he waved his hand. "He shall do quite nicely, Thor. Now, go worry yourself over your maiden as we are going to..." Green eyes flicked over to Steve, who was standing in the doorway that separated the kitchen from the sparse living room and smiled a sheepish little smile while he held up a bright red box with a dark-looking confection on the front. "...Bake a cake."

"Then I shall assist!" Thor bellowed before pushing Loki out of the way and stepping into the small apartment that had no chance of withstanding the God of Thunder's voice, let alone his antics. "Tell me, Man of the America, are they any good as thy wondrous Pop-Tarts?"

"Uhh...I've never had one," Steve said before patting the demigod's shoulder. "You can let me know." Just like that, the demigod's face turned to one of pure horror.

"I know you can hear me, Heimdall," Loki hissed as he looked up at the sky expectantly, not moving from his position by the open door. "Take Thor and send him back to that wretched desert he so loves this instant!"

"Come, Captain! I shall bestow the confectionous deserts upon you and you shall marvel at all that this realm has to offer!" Thor's voice boomed, making Loki cringe at the ruined opportunity in front of him while his adopted brother rummaged around for hideously packaged desserts to snack on before the horrid cake from a box was begun and completed.

"_Please?_"

* * *

Review for more.

**GoodLuckMother**: I do believe so! Thanks and you're very welcome, my dear!

**shizukoyasu**: Heh, so am I.

**Trekkergurl**: Heh, you have high faith in my meager abilities. Heh, well, the games certainly have began and the battle waged!

**S.E. Carrigan**: Aww, thanks!

**bri-briana**: Aw, thanks. Yeah, I'm still working on it, though.

**irite**: She can always kill him later. Who would pass up that opportunity?

**Heather**: Aw, thanks.

**Obsession and Insanity**: Thanks, darling.

**PerlaB4**: Aww, thanks! Here's more!

**Ink-Me-Up**: Here you go.

**Zeto**: Aww, thanks. Here you go.

**bipolarpanic**: Here's more for you!


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Battle: Steve

Summary: Steve knew it was irrational to hope that the Avengers could put aside their differences with Loki and work together as a team, but he had thought that Clint would be the one with a grudge against the trickster. Why Tony was glaring at the mischief-maker as though he wanted nothing more than to strangle him was beyond the Captain. Steve/Tony, Loki/Steve, Loki/Steve/Tony.

Disclaimer: I own my deranged mind.

Warnings: Oh, let's see... Blood, gore, violence, graphic sex, yaoi, swears, alcohol use, crude gestures and jokes, poor grammar/spelling, etc.

* * *

Steve could not help but smile as Thor rummaged through all of the cabinets. "I'm telling you, big guy, I don't have any Pop-Tarts." It did not seem to deter the God of Thunder at all; he was determined that the super soldier had hidden the delectable pastries as every house in America should have them, Darcy told him as such when he first met her. Personally, the blonde did not see what was so enticing about them with what Thor had told him; then again, he did not see what was so delicious about a cake in a box, but Phil had personally picked it out and stammered that it was a personal favorite of his own and that he would enjoy it. Letting Thor continue to toss around the bare cupboards in an effort to locate the colorful box of nonexistent Pop-Tarts, the super soldier turned his attention back to the red box that the was holding.

As carefully as he could manage, Steve opened up the thin box before frowning at the contents. There was a bag of brown powder inside and once he had removed that, there was only the empty box. He shook his head slightly, guessing that he would have to make the frosting separately and hoped that he could remember the simple recipe that his mother used to tell him about making when she was younger. Setting the bag down on the table, the blonde looked over at the back of the box, reading the instructions and feeling grateful that they were simple. He was equally glad that Phil had the foresight to purchase everything that would be needed for the cake because he was not sure that he would be able to manage a trip to the nearest grocery store with two Asgardian warriors in tow.

Thor alone would be difficult because he would be searching for Pop-Tarts like the Howling Commandos did Nazis; seek and destroy. In the warrior's case, he would probably be devouring them in the store while Steve tried to find some frosting. Phil had told him that just about anything that was made from scratch back in his time was now sold fully-made or semi-made in grocery stores and that people rarely bought fresh produce or actual ingredients nowadays. But there was hope as more people were turning back to cooking from scratch. Loki, on the other hand... Steve was not sure what it was that the mischief-maker would actually eat.

In fact, the only thing that he had seen them both eat was the shawarma that Tony seemed to favor. Then again, the genius seemed to favor a lot of unhealthy things if he listened to even half of what Phil, and occasionally Miss Pepper Potts, told him.

Setting that thought aside for later, Steve gently pulled open the bag of brown powder, pouring it into a bowl just as Loki stepped back into the kitchen, looking as though someone had taken his favorite toy and was holding it out of his reach. "You all right over there?" the soldier asked tentatively; judging from he had seen of the thin "god," his tempers often swayed from mocking Thor to outright willing and eager to kill everyone and anyone who disagreed with him.

"That does not look like a cake," the demigod mused as he sneered at the bowl of powder in disdain. Looking down at the bowl of dry mix, the Captain could not help but shrug; Loki did have a point.

"It's not done," Steve replied before beginning to add the wet ingredients to the powder and stirring them together to form a viscous, dark brown mixture.

"...It looks worse," the demigod of mischief mused as he leaned over the table, peering at the blonde through his eyelashes as he flashed a smirk at him.

"Smells good, though," the soldier said with a slight smile as he quickly pulled out a brand new pan, greasing it according to the directions on the box before pouring the batter into the pan.

"You have no Pop-Tarts," Thor sulked as he stood upright and crossed his arms in front of his chest, looking like a petulant child. Steve saw Loki roll his eyes in disgust when his brother complained about the lack of pastries.

"Sorry, buddy," Steve said with an apologetic smile as he looked back the box, frowning slightly. He had forgotten to turn on the oven. Darn it. Walking over to the oven, the blonde pat the Asgardian warrior's shoulder before fiddling with the knobs on the stovetop, grinning with the little red light turned on for the oven and the temperature was set for the correct temperature. The box called that the oven had to be preheated before the batter could be cooked do the Captain looked between the two brothers, trying to figure out what it was that he was supposed to do with to rivaling brothers while the oven heated up and while the batter baked into a hopefully delicious cake.

"Thor, should you not be checking in on your...mortal female?" Loki asked as he pulled out a chair and sat down at the kitchen table, glowering at his brother in way that made the super soldier cringe. He tried to think of what the blonde warrior from Asgard could have possibly done to have warranted such a look. From what he had seen of the brothers in and around New York, Thor was willing to jump to the defense of his brother but Loki seemed to want nothing to do with him at the best of times. He had not missed the small pat on the blonde's shoulder back in the diner, though, so he knew that the trickster had a soft spot for his brother no matter how much he denied it.

"Miss Jane and Miss Darcy are both fine," the blonde boomed as he stood up from his position checking the crisper drawers in the refrigerator. "The Man of Iron contacted them before asking that I check in on our Captain and make sure that he is healing just fine."

"I'm not injured, Thor," Steve added, not missing the way that Loki had visibly bristled at the Asgardian's words. He was unsure why that had riled up the brunette but guessed that it had to do with the fact that Tony basically told his brother that he had little faith in his skill in...uh, magic? He still was not too sure of the claim that the supposed god was a sorcerer and while he had witnessed it first hand, it was harder to swallow than Tony Stark's pride in his ugly, slightly phallic tower.

"And he is old enough not to need someone checking in on his every move. I am more than certain that SHIELD will take care of that for you," Loki snapped, crossing his arms sourly in front of his chest as he glared at the God of Thunder. He almost looked like he was sulking at the large Asgardian, who seemed to be taking the thinner man's snippy attitude in stride.

"I do believe my little brother has grown fond of you, Captain!" Thor laughed loudly as he quickly closed the distance between them and slapped Steve's shoulder firmly. That made the super soldier pause for a moment. If this was Loki when he was fond of him, barring the just-saved-his-life moment, he would hate to see what the trickster would do if he actually hated him. The brunette demigod was more than willing to attempt to bring him to his knees and all-out brawl with him in Germany over his want to rule the planet. That was supposed to mean that he was fond of him? He knew that Loki had supposedly thrown Tony out of Stark Tower - and while that concerned him, both Doctor Banner and Phil had assured him that the last of the Stark line had managed to save himself with his brightly painted suit and JARVIS - he wondered what that made his fellow teammate to the reluctant aid for Earth. Then again, he wondered what the proclaimed god thought of everyone else on his team. But, that was not any of his business and Steve did not want to intrude upon the trickster's thoughts.

"Fond, sure," Steve replied before looking between the set of brothers. "So...what do you fellas like to do for fun?"

A wicked smirk unfurled upon Loki's face as he looked the super soldier up and down, letting the blonde war veteran know that he had not just stepped into a minefield, but had run into one full speed without even realizing it at first and was hopelessly stuck. Blue eyes flicked over to Thor, just to cringe at the bright smile that he was given in return.

"Do you happen to have a large open space where we can spar?" the God of Thunder asked as he beamed his brilliantly white teeth at the soldier. While Steve could tell that was not what the trickster had in mind, he could not help but smile; the last time he and Thor had fought together, it was back at SHIELD's facilities and, from what Clint had told him, all of the watching agents had placed bets about who would win. Thor won the round, but had laughed and quickly challenged Steve to a rematch, and ended up with his face in the mat before he realized what had happened. Apparently, Phil did not explain to him that he was a tactical planner and fighter.

"Sparring is not something that I would prefer to do," Loki cut into Thor suggestion, tearing it into little pieces before turning his sharp eyes to the soldier and making him freeze on the spot. "We are...guests of this planet, let the mortal choose what to do and he can show us what Midgardians do for fun around here."

"Oh," Steve blurted out, not really knowing what it was that he could possibly suggest for them to do for entertainment. It was not like he was fully caught up on the seventy years that he had missed when frozen in the Arctic. Even if he was, the chances were higher that he would pick something that Thor would like but would bore Loki out of his skull. And if he managed to pick something that the mischief-maker would like, he ran the risk of boring the God of Thunder and the other Avengers had informed him that a bored demigod was not something that was a pleasant thing to deal with. "Well...how do you guys feel about...playing a game? Phil got me a deck of playing cards and we can play poker."

"Poker?" Thor asked as he looked over at Loki, who was smirking as though he knew every secret in the game and had been playing the game his entire life. "How does one simply poke her, Captain?" Steve tried not to laugh but he could not help but smile as he clapped the blonde on his shoulder.

"Come on, big guy, I'll teach you."

* * *

"You know what Captain Ass-face is?" Tony seethed as he reached for his glass of bourbon.

"I'm going to guess that he's an ass-face?" Bruce offered up as he adjusted his glasses, not looking up from the notebook he was scribbling across frantically.

"Bruce, you aren't even paying attention!" the genius whined as he sprawled out across the desk, batting his eyes playful at his fellow scientist as his drink sloshed inside of his glass, spilling some of the dark liquid onto the polished wood. Honestly, the guy was supposed to be his friend - the Natasha to his Clint, the Agent to his Fury! Instead, his male version of Pepper was being a bit of a bitch. He was supposed to feel his pain and offer up a pint of ice cream with a large spoon in it, not feign interest in a thinly-veiled, mocking manner. He had to stop chatting with JARVIS; his artificial intelligence was known for being a sarcastic know-it-all and it was starting to rub off on his scientist.

"Sure I am," the appointed doctor of the Avengers replied, looking up from his yellow legal pad. "You have a giant, unresolved man-crush on Cap and are worried about Loki's intentions with him."

"You suck. I'm being serious! Loki's- ...Well, he's up to no damn good! You remember what happened the last time he paid a visit to Manhattan, right? I've still got his face imprinted in my floor upstairs! He's bad news, Big Green. Like, will utterly destroy Rogers because underneath all of those hard muscles and stubborn-as-fuck attitude lies a golden heart that bleeds for anything that so much as begs for help or attention! He's too damn trusting for his own good and Junior will use it to his advantage, I know it!"

"That bitch." The words were dry and Tony could tell that Bruce was openly mocking him now. What did a guy have to do to get some loving around here?

"You have to help me!" Tony whined as he sprawled out more, tossing his arm to the side and spilled his drink across Bruce's pad of paper, ignoring the way that his friend twitched and let out a strained sigh. "There has to be some way to get Fury to open up his one good eye and see that Rudolph's rejected cousin is up to no good and we'll end up burying our star-spangled pain-in-the-ass by the time Fabio's adopted brother is done with him!"

"Wow..." the doctor breathed as he looked up from his notepad to see a pair of dark eyes staring at him pleadingly. There was a lot of name-calling in that sentence and he almost did not know just where to begin. "I know just how to help you," Bruce said as he grabbed at a pile of napkins that were lying on his deck, making sure not to grab the greasy ones that Tony had used to wipe his mouth after eating pizza in the lab last night.

"Do share, wise one." He probably meant that to be a snippy comment or a jab at the ever calm but quietly raging scientist, instead he got a grin from the prick for his sweeping gesture.

"You're going to call Fury."

"I'm sorry, I thought we were talking _rational_, here," Tony sulked as he sat up, refusing to quietly remove his ass from the polished, and now wet with alcohol, surface of Bruce's lab desk. "Calling ol' One-Eye sounds about as much fun as walking up to Thor, sucker-punching him in the nipple, and declaring that I ate the last Pop-Tart. I think I'm going to pass on that nugget of wisdom. Keep digging, Yelnats, I want a whole chest full of treasure!"

"Sure thing, Walker, just let me finish my first point."

"What? There was more to that than just calling up Fury and destroying my soul with every second of that call?"

"Yeah, when you call him, you have to tell him "I'm a big girl who is upset that Loki's spending time with Cap so I sent Thor after him because I want to take his virginity.""

Unfortunately for Bruce, Tony had taken that moment to take a mouthful of his remaining bourbon and had managed to not only snort the dark liquid out of his nose, but all spit some out of his mouth, flecking the scientist with the alcohol while the rest of it dribbled down his shirt like blood from a broken nose. He mouth hung open in disgust as he felt the small flecks of warm, and slightly cold, alcohol dripping down his face. He could hear a wheezing and ragged choking sound coming from the genius, but could hardly deal with that at the moment because, while he was not afraid of germs, he was repulsed at the fact that the infamous Tony Stark, who was still making pathetic wheezing sounds, had snorted and spat bourbon at him. There was not enough bleach in all of New York to rid him of the disgusting feel across his skin.

"You...f-fucker!" Tony choked, flipping up his middle finger as he wiped at his face with his free arm, only managing to sop up a bit of the fluid while smearing the rest across his face.

"Me? I'm not the one who hacked booze at you in a un-glorified sneeze!" If Bruce's voice raised in pitch, it really was not his fault. Tony was just lucky that the shock of being spat at like that and the sheer horror of what he was going to have to do in order to feel clean once more was keeping the Hulk at bay. ...For now. "Oh my God...now I know how all of your dates feel when they wake up in the morning."

"You fucking wish," the other scientist began to laugh before whining pathetically, "Ow, Bruce!"

"Hey, that was totally your fault and I'm not the one with repressed emotions. ...I'm the one covered in the result of you acknowledging your repressed emotions. I need a shower. Hot water, bleach, and a few gallons of hand sanitizer."

"You? I need new lungs!"

"One might suggest a new liver first, sir" a clipped voice called out.

"Way to be supportive, JARVIS! I'm having a crisis here!" Tony snapped before hopping off of the desk, leaving the spewed liquid and the glass in his wake.

"Simply calling Captain Rogers would suffice as a way to pacify your breakdown, sir. He is a reasonable man and will speak to you."

"Mutiny! I call mutiny!" the genius shrieked, his voice cracking from its earlier use and indignation. "You haven't even met the guy and you're already siding with him! That one instance where we all subdued an already subdued Loki doesn't count; you two didn't even speak!" There was no way in hell that he was going to drop by Steve's apartment without-

That was actually a perfect idea.

Steve would never see it coming and it was not like Thor would tell him about every little thing that happened; he was sure that the demigod would give him a gist of what the super soldier was up to but would talk more about what Loki was doing. It was a little bit his fault for sending the God of Thunder in with the idea that she was checking in on his brother just to make sure that the trickster actually did help him out and that he was not too injured after the mission. Granted, he was not even sure that the blonde had gotten anything more than a few scrapes from being tackled to the ground by a skinny twerp. But better safe than sorry. And if he played it up a bit more dramatically for Thor's sake? Who would really blame him?

But all that Thor would let him know was that his blonde "SHIELD-brother" was perfectly fine and that Loki, being the little shit that he was, was actually behaving himself and not causing any trouble. Like that would actually be the truth. And if there was one thing that Howard always drilled home, besides Steve being a fucking godsend, it was that if you want to believe something, you had to do it, see it, touch it, and claim it for yourself.

Steve would never see him coming either; it would throw his smug, patriotic ass for a fucking loop.

"JARVIS, how's my Audi looking?"

"Tony, no-" Bruce began.

"In pristine condition, sir," the crisp voice replied.

"Not helping, JARVIS!" the doctor exclaimed.

"Great! Come on, Bruce; road trip!" Tony called out excitedly. "Well, after a shower. Can't go see Capsicle reeking of booze."

"No, Tony." Bruce would not stand for this type of mistreatment; Steve was a real person and he knew that they could trust him to keep Loki in line if the need arose. "We aren't going. _I'm_ not going anywhere but to take a shower and sulk."

"Then hold down the fort!" Tony called out before practically sauntering out of the room. Bruce just knew that it would end horribly. After all, the last time that Loki and Tony were in a room together, the sorcerer tossed the genius out of the Tower like he was a wad of paper. Now they were going to be confined in a small, run-down apartment in Brooklyn that belonged to Captain America with Thor watching over his brother protectively.

...He needed some tea.

And a shower. Definitely a shower.

The brunette grimaced as he wiped a hand over his face, wondering what the turning point in his life was that turned him from a normal, slightly obsessed scientist into a raging beast that was surrounded by even bigger lunatics on a daily basis that fought against mentally unstable super-villains. Mentally damning Fury for sending Natasha in his path, Bruce sighed in defeat before stalking off towards the nearest bathroom, already knowing that this would not end well and that he would have to deal with a beaten, sore, stubborn, and whining Tony Stark.

* * *

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**AboutAsUsefulAsAChocolatePot **: Yeah, that would be me being about as sharp as a box of pencil erasers. Good catch!

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**irite**: I have the feeling that Thor has driven Loki to the brink of insanity many times.

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**Heather**: Aw, thanks!


	5. Chapter 5

Title: Battle: Steve

Summary: Steve knew it was irrational to hope that the Avengers could put aside their differences with Loki and work together as a team, but he had thought that Clint would be the one with a grudge against the trickster. Why Tony was glaring at the mischief-maker as though he wanted nothing more than to strangle him was beyond the Captain. Steve/Tony, Loki/Steve, Loki/Steve/Tony.

Disclaimer: I own my deranged mind.

Warnings: Oh, let's see... Blood, gore, violence, graphic sex, yaoi, swears, alcohol use, crude gestures and jokes, poor grammar/spelling, etc.

* * *

Loki studiously ignored Thor's cheerful smiles and the looks that his brother - adopted brother; he had to clarify that even in his own mind - was throwing his way. For some reason, the Asgardian seemed to think that there was something in him that was worth redeeming. So did Odin, if his punishment was anything to go by. He doubted that but knew that just by keeping Midgard's Captain from being flattened to a bloody smear across the ground had cemented that idea in the blonde's head. The super soldier, however, proved to be the most peculiar out of them all; he had accepted him into his shabby but warm, if not dusty and aged, dwelling with practically no complaint. He either trusted his superiors far too much or was far too stupid of a man to be leading a pack of warriors to defend this planet.

But, for some reason, the human on this chunk of dirt seemed to trust him to put himself on the line for their safety. And what was the man doing? Searching for a deck of cards while an oven heated up so he could bake a cake. This planet was doomed for failure.

"Found it!" Steve called out cheerfully from where he was hunched slightly over a drawer, turning around and holding up a well-worn box with a bright and pleased smile on his face. He could see how this man had become the leader of the Avengers; none of the others could fill the role as necessary.

Thor, while improving, was still arrogant and held himself higher than the people he was fighting for; as well he should have because he was a god, not a mortal.

Sexist as it was, there was no way that a team of "superheroes" would be taken seriously if a woman was running the show. Granted, the Black Widow had shown him just how manipulative and dangerous she could be, but to the unknowing public? She would be considered the weakest of the group.

Barton, on the other hand... He was far more familiar with the archer's mind than the man would ever be comfortable with. He had two main weaknesses: Agent Coulson and the Black Widow. Having him attack the mewling quim had shaken the man's faith in himself and his own attempt on the agent's life had nearly destroyed him beyond all repair. It was just a bonus that it had managed to rile up his adopted brother as well; show him just how useless he was. If someone was that easily ruined then there was no way that he would be fit to lead a team. Anyone would be able to take that information and use it against the archer; he would fall and take the group with him if that were the case.

Banner...that man was a serious threat. Loki sneered as he thought back at the way that the beast had taken him down and pummeled him against the floor to the point where he could not even more at first. The human, however, was unassuming; feeble-looking, meek, but with an air of something much darker and much more powerful. He was a fool for taking on the beast but he was correct in assuming that SHIELD was frightened of the creature and wanted nothing more than to lock him away for their own safety. The fact that he could repress the beast was a wonder in and of itself, but the sheer threat of what could happen if his feathers were ruffled in the wrong direction made him a poor candidate for the role of leadership.

Stark, now he was a thorn in his side at the best of times. Sure, the man's voice could grate nerves with the way he rambled unrelentingly, but he was quick to offer up his opinion even when it was not needed. Sure, the man was vain - he had built a large tower in the heart of one of the busiest cities in all of Midgard and slapped his name across the side of it - but he had designed all of the objects that filled it. He had proven himself to be a brilliant man, but he had caught up on a lot about the man just from Barton's mind; he was precariously vain and often spoke without thinking about the consequences of his actions, he often thought of himself as a center display and put on an act for the general public but underneath all of that was a moody, withholding drunk that held a large resentment against his deceased father and often tried to outshine him in penis-measuring contests. And he often failed. There were far too many similarities between himself and Stark that made him feel uncomfortable. But while he was certain that he could rule Midgard and have them outshine Thor's rule of Asgard with ease, he was all the more certain that the man who wore a red and gold suit of armor would flounder under all of the responsibility and manage to get his entire team killed if he did not drink himself to death first.

The Captain was the only one of their unstable and horribly dysfunctional mash of killers and scientists that had actually lead a group of men in combat before, according to Barton's thoughts once more. From what he had gleamed for the quashed memories of his childhood as well as the memories that he held of Agent Coulson, the soldier had done many great acts during the war that had captivated all of Midgard; giving faith to starving people that had survived darker times just to enter a war that seemed fruitless and also strike fear into the hearts of all of their enemies. He never gave up when he had his mind set to something and was more than willing to toss his own self-preservation to the wayside if it meant that innocents would be spared. The planet had mourned his death but some, like Stark's father, clung to the belief that he could still be found alive, or at least laid to rest if he had perished. He was far stronger than most mortals and had an air around him that demanded obedience when he was in his intensely colored suit. The fact that SHIELD could easily use his face as the front for their little games only worked in their favor as the man was quite a looker by Midgardian standards, not that some of the others were lacking in that department...but some _were_.

He looked over at the blonde soldier as he sat down at the kitchen table, carefully opening the flimsy box in his large hands before removing the thin and equally time-ravaged cards from inside. He plucked a few of the cards out before replacing them inside of the box and spread them out across the wooden surface. Immediately, he could make out that while there were only two colors, there were four different shapes on the cards. He listened carefully as Steve showed them the suit of spades, explaining the rules of this "poker" before shuffling the cards expertly in his hands and dealing them each a round of the thin and worn paper material.

The card felt more substantial in his hands than they did in the soldier's far larger palms. His green eyes looked over the cards briefly before flicking over to Thor, lips curling at the pinched expression that his adopted brother took on. He could read his brother like a book but was certain that even a blind man could see that he had a losing hand. Unless the game was utterly simple or involved a grand battle of sorts, it was certain to go completely over the blonde's head. Especially if it required reading others' intentions or tact. Both were things that the God of Thunder openly lacked and did not seem to mind not having at all.

They were only playing a few hands to get the hang of it and the Captain did mention that people used to place bets on themselves and the winner would take the entire spoils. That was the kind of game that Loki could get behind. He was not above cheating or hustling weaker people out of their winnings and was certain that he could easily take everything that Thor had and possibly even the blonde super soldier. With a smirk, he fluidly revealed his hand, spreading his cards out across the table and looking over when his adopted brother huffed.

Thor had absolutely nothing and Loki was certain that he had won until Steve had revealed his hand, showing off three aces. That was highly unacceptable. Green eyes narrowed as he thought over how skilled the man was when he shuffled the cards in his hands, quickly discerning that the cards were not worn from age but rather from use. He was not going to use magic or cheat to win in this one, though; the trickster wanted the satisfaction of beating the Captain using his own wits and nothing more. He was known for having a silver tongue and he could, and would, use it to his ability to get the blonde man to fold when he had bad hands and call when he was losing. He just had to figure out if the man had any tells. As far as he had seen, the soldier either had a very open face or was rather closed off and stern. If he could keep the man relaxed and open there was a chance that he could get some obvious tells from him.

"What do you mortals bet with?" Loki asked right before a bell chimed throughout the kitchen. Steve smiled softly as he picked up the batter-filled pan, taking it to the over before slipping it inside and closing the door. He fiddled with a dial on the front of the display before turning back to them.

"Depends. Back when I was a kid, adults played for pennies. I'm sure that people still play for money but back in the war we just played to pass the time."

This piqued Loki's interest; he was more than certain that a bunch of men who fought for their lives and for the chance to return to their country did not play a game just to pass time between their risking their lives in the next fight. They had to have had something on the line to make the game more interesting but it was obvious that the soldier was not going to divulge the information so easily. He only wished that Odin had not limited his powers so he could tap into the super soldier's heart and see what secrets lied beneath. "And what shall we play for now?"

"We can play for Pop-Tarts!" Thor chimed in unhelpfully, shattering Loki's illusion that it was just him and Steve in the kitchen.

"I don't have any," Steve chuckled softly. "I have a bag of cookies, though. We can bet using them?"

"Cookies?" his adopted brother asked, grating on the brunette's patience. He kept a calm facade but was left wanting little more than to grab the muscled blonde by his throat and haul his overbearing ass out of the nearest window.

"Chocolate ones with a cream center." The smile on Steve face was so endearingly sweet the Loki had to look away lest he get lost in it.

"We must try these cookies!" the Asgardian bellowed, rattling the delicate dishes that were nearby and getting the god of mischief to glare darkly at him. The last thing that he needed after his trying day with Odin and Frigga was to have Thor's boisterous voice stuck in his head against his will.

"No problem." Steve shuffled the cards once more, dealing them another hand before getting up and looking through his cabinets for a package of cookies that Thor was over eager to taste. The mischief-maker was more than certain that the demigod was going to end up eating his cookies more than he was going to either bet or lose them. He could easily win against the soldier once he was able to read past his mask. A blue package was placed onto the table before Thor eagerly tore into them, revealing the dark cookies as he split them out evenly among all three of them; giving each of them twelve cookies.

Loki looked down at his hand while observing Steve carefully out of his peripheral vision. He could not get a singled tell; his face was completely relaxed and his eyes blank of all emotion. He was wearing his Captain America mask; all cool professionalism that was hard and sharp as steel. It was irritating. A glance at Thor told him everything that he needed to know; the blonde had no idea if he had a good hand but was certain that he was not going to win. The demigod pushed a single of his cookies into the center of the table, watching as his adopted brother carefully did the same thing, looking at his cookies and card as his lips twisted between a frown and a stern pout. Green eyes turned to him just to narrow dangerously when the blonde pushed two cookies into the pile. He could hear his adopted brother's laugh as he called out that he was "folding in his card but keeping his cookies."

Steve smiled softly at Loki and the trickster looked down at his hand, he had nothing useful so he tossed his cards onto the table with disdain. "Deal again," he hissed, determined that he would get the hang of this game and take all of the blonde's cookies while Thor happily munched on his own.

A few rounds into the game of poker and Thor was, in fact, more interested in eating his cookies as he watched them play rather than joining in. Loki was losing, but just barely; Steve was ahead by only two cookies. While he had yet to figure out any of the man's tells - his face was openly blank, inviting and yet cold at the same time - he had been able to lie his way into winning a few rounds and gaining back some of the cookies that he had lost to the skilled soldier. It was not something that he would openly admit, but being able to put up a valiant fight without using magic to cheat - making the super soldier struggle against him in a game he had mastered - was oddly satisfying.

Unfortunately, it all came to an end when there was a persistent knocking coming from the front door. Steve excused himself before rising from his seat and walking out of the kitchen. Not wanting to be left alone with Thor, lest he break off into another "I love you, brother!" tirade, Loki had risen from his seat as well and followed after the Captain, pausing in the middle of the living room when he had held the door open to reveal none other than Tony Stark. Jade orbs narrowed dangerously at the way the brunette pushed his way into the house, commenting nonstop about the horrible wallpaper and how he came to check in on his favorite hammer-wielding warrior, not Steve.

Loki saw through his facade, though.

Even when he was not paying attention to what Steve was doing, his focus was still on the blonde and everything that he was doing. A smirk came to his lips as he watched the brunette's mood sour considerably when his gaze turned to himself. "How's Santa's most dysfunctional helper holding up?" Tony asked, crossing his arms in front of his chest, obscuring the dark design that contrasted with the glowing light from his device.

"Quite well," the trickster cut in before Steve could speak up for him. "The Captain and I are playing a rousing game of cards."

"He's actually doing quite well," the super soldier added in, making the trickster's smirk become a bit softer; he was pleased to see that the leader had taken note that he was actually holding his own against the blonde.

"Cards?" For someone who proclaimed that he was a genius, he seemed to have a difficult time processing simple sentences in his head without looking like a lost child. "You're playing cards with a guy that whipped your ass all across Germ- Never mind, I don't even want to know. Wait, what are you playing? Go Fish? Crazy Eights? Old Maid?" The infuriating smirk on the brunette's face grew even more and Loki was sorely tempted to knock his teeth in.

"Poker," the demigod answer, smirking at the way that he seemed to stumble while standing still.

"Really?"

"You sound so surprised, Stark. I am skilled in more than just magic." Just to see if his intuition on Stark's thinly-veiled affection was correct, the trickster threw an appreciative glance at the super soldier, his eyes roaming up the blonde's built form and clean features before turning his attention back to the brunette. Just as he had expected, the man was looking equally parts surprised and irate. Manipulating this mortal to his will was going to prove to be a very amusing way to spend his time while he was performing acts of humanity to the weak mortals of this realm.

"He's quite good at it," Steve added, unknowingly riling up the creator of the Iron Man armor even more. It only served to greaten Loki's amusement as he watched the man's proverbial feathers ruffle. If he truly thought his Captain to be so loose, he surely would have gone after him by now with the large crush he seemed to be harboring. The fact that he had done nothing about it but was still willing to become distraught at the mere implication that his leader was sleeping with someone else led him to believe that there was something that was keeping him from acting. What he had seen of the brunette so far led to the believe that he rarely thought things out before acting and, rather than deal with the actual consequences, he fled from the scene like a child. This situation, however, was completely against his usual actions.

It was highly intriguing and Loki was not above pushing the man to his breaking point just to see how the mortal would spiral out of control.

"The beeping has returned!" Thor bellowed from the kitchen, his words muffled slightly and Loki had the distinct impression that his pseudo-brother was stuffing his large mouth full of the remaining cookies on the table, leaving them with nothing left to bet.

"I'll be right back," Steve said to them before hurrying towards the kitchen. The demigod could hear him chuckling softly in the other room and telling Thor to hold on, not to touch it, be careful, and a whole myriad of words that a mother would say to a child that she loved. Nothing that Frigga ever told him, but all the same. Green eyes met brown, narrowing at the glare that he was receiving.

"I know what you're up to," Tony said as he stepped farther into the living room, closing the door with a swift kick as he watched the demigod sit down on the plush and wore couch. "You might have everyone fooled into thinking that you're turning a new leaf and everything, but you don't fool me. I've seen you looking at Steve like he can be manipulated and let me tell you what, he's a stubborn ass and you'll never be able to bend him to your will."

"And what if I just simply wish to bend him over something else?" Loki had meant it as a tease, noting the way that the creator of the skilled engineer seemed to flinch and falter before his mood darkened considerably. He had obviously hit a sore spot and had found the man's true weakness beside his two closest friends and high quality liquor that few could purchase. It appeared as though the love for Captain America was genetic and that his father had passed it down to his spawn. How amusing. "What if I wish to make him mine?"

"Don't you fucking dare!" The words were hissed darkly and Loki could not keep himself from smirking when the brunette strode over to him, holding up a finger in what was supposed to be a threatening manner. "You leave Rogers the fuck alone, you understand me? I won't even need Bruce to take you down; I'll beat you into the pavement myself."

"Is that so?" the demigod sneered at the meaningless threat as he rose up from the couch, crowding into the mortal's space as his lips curved. "I do believe you have my intentions all wrong, Stark." In an instant, all of the playfulness had fled from his face, his features severe and icy cold as he bit out at the human. "I'm not falling for your Captain. I'm not even going to bed him to sway him to my side. I'm going to _break _him. Take all of your country's ideals and ambitions in my hands and crumble it before your very eyes. I'll destroy your Captain America and leave a shell in my wake. You think of him as a godsend and I'm here to tell you that he's nothing more than a pathetic idol you sniveling ants have put on a pedestal to worship. I will ruin you all by simply ruining this one man; a plaything for a god is all that he will be, Stark. But I'm not doing this to physically harm the Captain, I'm not even doing this for my own benefit. I'm doing this because your Captain _believes _in me, believes that I am worth redemption...and losing him will break you in the worst of ways."

There was a fierceness to Loki that was all sharp angles and cold as ice as Tony tensed up. The sudden tensing of the human's slim muscles was all the warning that he had to duck before the genius swung out at him, attempting to punch him in his face for words that were meant to rile him up. Whether or not they were true did not matter to the trickster as much as getting the witty brunette to attack him and get told off by his leader and possibly ordered not to return.

* * *

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**Post U Later**: (Chapter One) That it was! Heh, I didn't even think of that.

**Post U Later**: (Chapter Two) Well, Loki's a master of creepy. Thanks!

**Post U Later**: (Chapter Three) Heh, we'll see about that.

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	6. Chapter 6

Title: Battle: Steve

Summary: Steve knew it was irrational to hope that the Avengers could put aside their differences with Loki and work together as a team, but he had thought that Clint would be the one with a grudge against the trickster. Why Tony was glaring at the mischief-maker as though he wanted nothing more than to strangle him was beyond the Captain. Steve/Tony, Loki/Steve, Loki/Steve/Tony.

Disclaimer: I own my deranged mind.

Warnings: Oh, let's see... Blood, gore, violence, graphic sex, yaoi, swears, alcohol use, crude gestures and jokes, poor grammar/spelling, etc.

* * *

Steve smiled as he pulled the cake out of the oven, carefully batting Thor's grabbing fingers away from the hot pan. "Do you not eat this confection warm?" the supposed God of Thunder asked as he looked suspiciously like he was pouting. "You can eat Pop-Tarts fresh from the toasting device you mortals use."

"Well, this is a cake," Steve countered, hoping that would get his point across. He was seriously going to have to question the blonde about those darn Pop-Tarts because with the way that the demigod was going on and on about them, they sounded like some sort of godsend in foil packages. Honestly, though, from what the god had described to him about the little pieces of sweetly-filled pastries covered in a thin layer of white and sprinkled flecks of the rainbow, it sounded horrifying. He was not sure that he would ever like it, but Thor had offered him an entire box of the darn things the next time he came over to visit him and Loki and the soldier would have been rude to outright reject a gift without even trying it. Especially with how the man had saved his hide time and time again when they fought together. "We let them cool and frost them."

"You put ice on your desserts?" It would have been all the more comical if the demigod was not looking so off put by the idea of frosting.

"No, it's a...well, like a stiff and sweet cream. I might be able to make some if I have all of the ingredients but Phil said that most things could be bought already made," Steve answered as he set the pan down on the counter, taking off the red, white, and blue oven mitts that the agent had gotten him as a housewarming gift. He could not help but smile at them as he wore them and thank the man for his thoughtfulness. Setting the mitts on the counter, next to the cooling pan, the soldier began to open the cabinets, looking through them and pausing when he found two large cylindrical cartons made out of thick paper and brightly decorated like the box of cake was. Looking them over, the Captain could not help but smile at how much Agent Phil Coulson thought everything through. He did not even remember the man sneaking the cartons into his shopping cart. "Looks like we're lucky," he called out, picking up the container of chocolate frosting. "The frosting is already made and we can put it on the cake once it cooled."

"We must wait?" Thor complained as he sat at the table and snatched some of Loki's cookies, popping one into his mouth.

"If we put it on when the cake is still hot, the frosting will melt."

"And it is not supposed to?"

"No, it sinks into the cake and gets...odd...if you put it on when the cake is still warm." Thor nodded, seeming to agree with what he was being told as he stuck another one of the chocolate, cream-filled cookies into his mouth, smiling brightly at the soldier. Steve patted the demigod on his shoulder before walking towards the living room. He was certain that Loki was curious about how the cake was going to taste and it would have been rude not to offer some dessert to a guest, even if that guest stopped by without an invitation.

Steve stepped past the doorframe that lead into the living room, his eyes widening when he saw Thor's adopted brother suddenly duck out of the way of a well-aimed punch that Tony threw in the direction of his face. The demigod of trickery and lies lashed out and grabbed the front of the genius's shirt, quickly lifting the brunette off of his feet and ignoring the way that the creator of the Iron Man armor kicked out at him. He could see the tensing of muscles in the slim and pale man's arms, knowing right away what he was going to do and quickly deciding to put a stop to it.

"Hey!" Steve called out sharply, getting both of the dark-haired men to turn their attentions to the blonde that was standing in the doorway with a frown on his face and his arms crossed in front his chest. "Loki, put him down."

"He started it," the demigod defended, sneering at the kick that the squirming man aimed at his shin. He set the engineer back onto his feet, ignoring the way that the brunette wiped at his shirt to smooth out imagined creases in favor of looking at the blonde warrior that was looking at him with stern, blue eyes. "He swung at me first."

"You called Cap a whore," Tony snapped quickly, making the super soldier frown even more. While Loki was known for saying whatever came to mind right away, Steve could not recall the sorcerer ever using such words. He seemed to act far more sophisticated than a man who would sink to derogatory words and name-calling when he could easily lie his way out of any situation. "He's using you, Cap!" the engineer nearly pleaded, looking at the blonde with wide, trusting eyes, almost begging to be believed. "He's going to destroy you to ruin us all!"

"My brother would do no such thing!" Thor bellowed from behind him, making Steve think back to whether or not the demigod had taken Mjolnir into his home when he had arrived. He recalled the last time that Doctor Banner and Stark mocked the mental faculties of the younger Asgardian that the blonde had quickly risen to defend him, only to back off slightly when he was given the cold numbers about how many people were needlessly killed.

"Exactly," Loki sustained, crossing his arms in front of his chest and looking at Tony with clear distaste. "Why would I want to harm your good Captain when he and Thor are supposed to be assisting me in regaining my full powers back from Odin? I need all the help that I can get and your captain has been willing to accommodate me; I would be a fool to call names."

"He's lying!" Tony nearly shrieked as he pointed his hand in a waving manner at Loki, making the blonde frown. "He's the master of all lies! Lying is what he does! Just look at his face!" Steve rose an eyebrow at the desperate tone that Tony took on before turning his head to fulling look at the younger brother of Thor. He did not see anything strange about the man, he was staring back at Steve plainly, an almost amused and bored expression on his face as he did so. He could not see any apprehension in his features and the trickster seemed to be far at ease with the situation that was playing on around him. That did not necessarily mean that he had a guilty hand in the pot this time; it very well could have meant that he felt no real threat after being attacked by the engineer when he was not wearing his Iron Man armor. The soldier knew for a fact that if Tony tried to attack him without wearing his suit he could easily fend for himself. But that did not mean that he would be at ease with the situation. He had a different standing with the brunette than they both had; he never threw the genius off of his Tower. Granted, he did threaten him a few rounds if he put on his suit... "He wants to get in your pants to fuck with our heads!"

"Loki has no need to wear the good Captain's pants," Thor defended, looking puzzled.

"Of course not, Thor," the mischief-maker replied in a placating as he rolled his eyes. "Obviously your leader's pants would not fit me; I am not nearly as well muscled as you two are."

"That you are not!" the God of Thunder laughed before roughly clapping his adopted brother on his back. Steve winced, knowing that if the thinner brunette were anyone from this planet, he would have gone flying. As it was, he did not even move except to roll his eyes once more. "You have your own talents that will one day make you a great warrior, too!"

"Anyone else feeling a little sick? I'm feeling a little sick," Tony chimed up, not looking ill but Steve was not going to run the risk of the flamboyantly eccentric man vomiting across his floor. Moving quickly, the blonde gently took hold of the genius's arms before sitting him on the couch.

"Do you want some crackers? They can help settle your stomach," Steve said, pausing at the look that Tony was giving him and knowing that, in some way he did not yet understand, he had managed to muck things up again. "You know...so you won't feel as sick?"

Blue eyes blinked when the shorter man reached up and gently smacked his face. "You're adorable, Cap, you know that?" At least he let Steve know, by openly mocking him, that he had done something wrong.

"How is that cake looking, Captain?" Loki cut in, getting the blonde to look over in his direction.

"We are waiting so the frosting does not melt!" Thor added in helpful as he flashed a brilliant smile at his brother.

"That we are, Thor," Steve replied with a slight quirk of his lips. It was amusing to see how quickly the blonde warrior was catching on, even if it was disheartening to know that he was still far behind in getting caught up with current events. There was a very good chance that the Asgardian was going to easily surpass him in this planet's culture. His only saving grace was that maybe he could learn at the same time as Loki...and hopefully not make too much of a fool of himself at the same time.

"I'm serious, Cap," Tony called out just loud enough to catch the super soldier's attention. "Loki's bad news and he's planning to do something horrible to you to try to catch all of us off guard and take down this world. He wants to break us so he can rule and he thinks the only way to do that is to break you. Don't trust him. Don't let him close to you. Okay?"

Steve frowned, thinking over Tony's words. Some of it had some truth to it; he knew that most people, while large fanatics of Iron Man, had a soft spot for Captain America and that seemed to grown now that he had awakened from spending almost seventy years in the ice. Phil had told him that there were people out there who were even deranged enough to not only build shrines and statues to his likeness, but actually pray to him and offer up gifts and sacrifices. He was willing to believe that that was on the far extreme of things. But he had learned that Captain America had become a symbol of hope for the country and knew that if he fell, they would not mourn for Steve Rogers; they would not mourn for the guy from Brooklyn, the underdog, the guy who wanted to go to art school and protect people... They would mourn for the loss of their Captain. And in that time of mourning, someone could easily sneak past their lowered defenses and take out the great country, which had admittedly gone a bit off-track since his day, that was the United States. Other countries would be certain to put up fights or fall to the wayside and someone, not necessarily Loki, would use that to their advantage and take them all down. The only redeeming point that was there was that he was no longer alone; he was part of a team that could easily rise up to the plate when the time came and would protect the world. The Avengers could hold their posts without him and would keep everyone as safe as they could.

"Okay."

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Review for more. Shorter, I know. I'll make up for it in the next chapter, promise!

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	7. Chapter 7

Title: Battle: Steve

Summary: Steve knew it was irrational to hope that the Avengers could put aside their differences with Loki and work together as a team, but he had thought that Clint would be the one with a grudge against the trickster. Why Tony was glaring at the mischief-maker as though he wanted nothing more than to strangle him was beyond the Captain. Steve/Tony, Loki/Steve, Loki/Steve/Tony.

Disclaimer: I own my deranged mind.

Warnings: Oh, let's see... Blood, gore, violence, graphic sex, yaoi, swears, alcohol use, crude gestures and jokes, poor grammar/spelling, etc.

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Tony felt a rush of relief flow throw his nervous system when the soft word was uttered by Steve, the slight nod of his head letting him know that, despite his hatred-turned-into-not-quite-hatred of the guy was not going to color his vision of certain threats. Threats that were currently going to be living with him, had a silver tongue, and absolutely not fucking compunction about using it to get his way. Be that literal or metaphorical, he really did not want to know. He turned his attention back to the scrawny brother of Thor, who was glowering at him like he had just told him that Asgard was full of cooties and he was contagious just by sharing their air.

"Shall we take haste in eating this cake?" Thor bellowed as he wrapped his large arm around Loki's much-less-broad shoulders. "I am quite intrigued to see whether or not this confectionery can measure up to the fortitude that is Pop-Tarts!"

"Hush, Thor," Loki sighed as he rolled his eyes, swatting the large blonde's arm off of his shoulders as though it were a measly fly. "Captain, perhaps you can assist Thor in..._not_ destroying anything in the kitchen that we might need later on? I would like to have a word with Anthony."

"Oh, no," Tony called out as he shook his head sharply, crossing his arms in front of his chest while the super soldier looked between them both with a mixture of confusion and thinly-veiled worry. Whether or not that worry was for Loki, the spectacularly dressed genius beside him, or his ratty furniture - seriously, he was a superhero and he couldn't afford any better? - did not matter as much as the fact that he should have picked the well-being of his teammate, second-in-command, number-one genius first! "Cap!"

"I just wish to speak to him, Captain," the silver-tongued master of lies said fluidly, waving his hand dismissively. "No harm shall come to young Anthony. You have my word."

"This is the guy that tried to snuff us all out like a stupid teenager in a horror flick! Seriously, we're taking his word now? When did he become such an upstanding person? Thor! Thor, buddy, do you love me? Of course you do, I see it in your sparkling blue eyes. It's unequivocal how your heart beats solely for my well-being and happiness. Save me. Take your horribly-greasy-looking brother and give him a bath. We'll even let him use the good shampoo! But, yeah, take him away! Far away. Like, Asgard away."

Unfortunately for the brunette, the large blonde just laughed and clapped him hard on his shoulder. "You worry for naught, my SHIELD-Brother! Loki will not harm you while under Father's watchful gaze!"

"As..._helpful_ as that sounds..." Tony began, rubbing his shoulder to help ease the ache that the lumbering blonde had caused. "I'd really, _really_ feel much better if I didn't have to share a room with him for any longer than a minute." Unfortunately for the brunette, his worlds fell onto deaf ears as Thor pulled the Captain back into the kitchen. Dark eyes met green and the engineer straightened his back and made sure not to wilt under the intense glare.

"Do you take me for a fool, Stark?" Loki hissed, stalking closer to the creator of the Iron Man armor as his fingers curled towards his palm menacingly. "A simpleton?"

"Nooo..." Tony drawled, steeling himself to keep from taking a step backwards as the other man continued to approach him. "I'm sure that there are plenty of people who wear horned helmets. Vikings fans, for instance. Granted, they just sulk into their Minnesotan food and beer when they lose yet _another_ game. They don't try to take over the world and bring people to their knees. That's _all_ you."

"I know that you spoke to him," the demigod sneered, stopping right in front of the shorter. "Told him that I was going to spoil him, take him from the rest of you. Do you really think that will make any difference? That you would change what is destined to take place?"

"Seeing how you last thought that you were destined to rule? Yeah." Right after the words had left his lips and he was able to hear them, the genius had come to the realization that he should start thinking things through before he spoke. The green eyes narrowed even more as Loki stopped right in front of him, his piercing gaze tempting the brunette to turn tail and run. "After all, Steve's not stupid and he was probably suspecting that you were up to something from the beginning. Because, come on, _you_ on a quest for redemption? That's a bound and leap of a lie to begin with."

"I am here," the demigod hissed darkly, "at the request of Thor and Odin. I did not _choose_ to return to this pathetic planet and help save you ants from your own destruction!"

"We _ants_ kicked your ass," Tony taunted, cursing himself for not learning to keep his mouth shut before deciding to just roll with it. "I've seen more compelling villains in the funny pages when I was a child."

"You still are one. Let me make one thing perfectly clear, Stark. I will succeed in my plans and you, you'll be the first to kneel at my feet and beg for forgiveness," the trickster sneered, looking over innocently when Thor stepped back into the room.

"Not going to happen," Tony glared before Thor could cut in.

"Our Captain says that the cake is ready to be frosted with confectioneries now," Thor said before looking between both of the brunettes. "Is-"

"Everything is fine, Thor," Loki cut in, looking Tony up and down quickly and making the brunette feel more violated than that time he "stumbled" across Iron Man porn online. "We have just come to an...understanding. Come, we shall try some of this "cake from a box," Anthony." The smile on his face was inviting even though the green eyes promised of nothing but poison and a slow death filled with maniacal laughter.

"Sure," the engineer dragged out, shoving his hands in his pockets before following after the pair of Asgardians. Even the blonde's bright smile did nothing to quell the rolls and flips that his innards were taking. Seeing Captain America holding a piping bag and hovering over a cake? That helped. "What's shaking, Betty Crocker?" he quipped as he pulled out a chair and sat at the counter, watching the muscled blonde as he hunched over the baked cake and piped the dessert like it was going to be the one thing that everyone judged him on was quite amusing. Hell, he even had the tip of his tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth as he worked.

"I got that one," Steve replied with a small quirk of his lips before standing up straight and setting the remaining frosting to the side before he picked up the chocolate cake and set it in the center of the table.

"Then she's one old broad," Tony joked before sitting down at the table, making sure to put as much distance as he could between himself and the God of Mischief. Not that it made any difference when the trickster decided that he wanted to sit on the opposite side of the table, leaving Thor and Steve to sit on each of their sides. "So, when'd you decide to take up baking, Capsicle?"

"Oh, Phil thought that this would be easier than just buying a cookbook and jumping in. Once I get the hang of it I could always go into more difficult things."

"Phil? Phil _Coulson_? Wait, wait, wait! Fury has _Agent Coulson_ - they guy who routinely threatens me with his damn taser and endless seasons of Supernanny - on Cap Watch? Why wasn't I pulled into this? Oh, this all makes sense now - the tiny apartment, the old furniture, the outdated furnishings, hell, even your _bakeware_ - Agent's been taking you out shopping! I'm wounded, Cap. Wounded. You never called _me_ for that little trust exercise. I could get you all caught up on modern technology a lot faster than he ever could. What kind of phone do you have? Apple? Are you fraternizing with Steve Jobs' creations, Cap? Say it isn't so!"

"...I don't even know half of what you're talking about, Stark," the blonde said as he shook his head slightly, using a long knife to cut large pieces of the cake onto plates before handing one to each of his guests. "Phil, Miss Romanoff-"

"_Natasha_?! You got the Black Widow to help you?!" If he voice shrieked in a pitch high enough to startle Loki and get a glare aimed his way, he was not going to acknowledge it.

"Most delicious, Captain!" Thor called out, his teeth caked with chocolate and his lips smeared with frosting. The Asgardian demigod smacked the brilliant engineer on his shoulder in what was supposed to be a soothing gesture but only made the brunette nearly topple out of his chair before he rubbed his sore muscles with a wince. "And that you have recruited the Lady Widow into helping you is most advisable! Miss Darcy has said that a woman's touch-"

"Woah! She's been _touching_ you, Cap? Was it in the dirty places? Details, man!"

"Settle down," the blonde Captain sighed, his ears a bright shade of pink, though. "No one touched no one. Miss Romanoff is a classy dame and she deserves respect. Now, the four of us-"

"Four? You did NOT get Hawk-Ass to help!" Tony demanded, his fork hovering over his large slice of cake. "Have you even _seen_ what fashion disasters they are over at SHIELD? I know you're challenged and stuck in a plaid and khaki vortex but when you have a snazzy team like me and Pep on your side - hell, even Big Boom over here has more flair for fashion than Bird-Brain - you could be a real stunner on the streets. Not "on the streets," though. All though...you _could_ make a fortune if you did work the streets. Hell, there's a ton of Captain America porn out there - not that I watch, JARVIS keeps me informed of anything going on with any of our names attached to it - and I'm certain that there's a large crowd out there ready and willing to pay for an hour with the super soldier. Especially if you just go by how many views each video has - even the shitty ones are raking in the views!"

"Did you just advise your Captain to sell his body for monetary gain?" Loki asked, his voice completely flat even though his eyes twinkled with mischief. Thor's eyes narrowed dangerously as Tony thought back over what he had just said, freezing when he made the connection. If there was ever a time not to call out the blonde soldier for being far too gorgeous for his own good, that was the time. Especially in the way that he said it. Now all he needed was a way to think his way out of that little snafu before he had two blondes ready to pummel him into the hideously old flooring.

"Shit."

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